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The Courtroom Experience
Brooklyn
The Brooklyn Treatment Court differed from the other courts in the survey
in the size of the geographic area and population it served. More importantly,
in consideration of the courtroom experience, the Brooklyn Treatment Court
also made use of a large number of treatment providers rather than the
single or several providers employed by the other drug courts. This resulted
in a courtroom experience in which participants were less likely to know
one another from the streets:
- You don’t know hardly anybody.
- You don’t necessarily belong to the same groups.
- It’s usually a bunch of strangers.
- Sometimes you run across someone you know.
- When I used to come to court, the program I was in, like maybe 12
of us would go to court the same day. So we all got dressed up. It was
a good thing.
Some participants noted that the experience of coming to court was very
disagreeable in the beginning:
- In the beginning, when I started coming here, my attitude was, “Go
to hell.” I didn’t want to come here. I didn’t like coming
here. . . . Then I see my life is getting a little better, then I started
to enjoy coming here. But at the beginning . . . I look around and everybody
clapping for me like that because I complete something. . . . It become
enjoyable, something to look forward to. . . . Now I want to come and
do it; I want to show then I’m clean and I’m not doing what
I did before.
- I use to hate coming down here once a month giving urine. I use to
argue at him: Why can’t you fax my urine over there? . . . Like
I want to see the judge every day. . . . So I hated coming down here.
. . . And then . . . as time went on and I got to Phase III . . . they
gave me something and I’m going to give something back. But I hated
it. . . .
Other participants simply did not like the experience:
- The courtroom . . . I despise ’cause I have to do it. You gotta
do this or suffer the consequences. Then you get there, you sit there
all day—might have a little laugh—for me I can’t wait
till the courtroom day is over.
Many spoke of the experience of going to court as making them very apprehensive:
- Scary.
- You know you have to go to court once a month, so if you mess up,
like I said, it’s on you. So you gotta be nervous when you go to
court but if you don’t do anything, you gonna be all right. So
I didn’t have no problem going to court.
- I’ve been to court so many times, it’s like a nightmare.
I know that my urine is clean but I don’t know what I was doing
when I was getting high. So I don’t know if they got everything
in their records. . . . So every time I go to court, it’s like,
“What are they going to say now?” And I know I’m doing
everything right but I don’t know 20 years ago what I did. Something
might come out where they say they gotta send you to jail.
- There’s a sense of unsureness, like a rush, that keeps you tense.
Until the moment the computer reads out that everything is okay.
- When I first got into the program every time a court date came up
I was paranoid because I wasn’t doing very good.
- In the beginning, when I first started this process and I knew I had
dirty urine, I still come to court and was always scared, worried. I
couldn’t go on living like that.
Many seemed to appreciate the experience and view it as intended to be
helpful:
- There’s something else, though. Everyone that’s affiliated
with the courtroom itself . . . they understand our addiction. They
have some knowledge we are addicts and that we are subject to do things
that other persons might not do. Even the court officers. . . . Nobody
in the courtroom likes to see you go to jail. They all know we trying.
- Well I loved going to court because my name stayed up on the screen
all the time. . . . I loved it, coming to court.
Some commented that the courtroom experience was an important learning
experience for them:
- Watching the others, it’s like looking at myself sometimes.
. . .
- I wish they could know what I know and this is what I see in front
of me now when I go to court.
- I have seen a lot of my peers get rearrested that completed the program
. . . and I say to myself, you never forget where you come from because
you can always go back.
Las Vegas
Regardless of whether they had a positive or negative opinion of the
drug court, Las Vegas participants viewed the drug court courtroom experience
as an event of critical importance. Several participants described their
great nervousness about attending court, and many other participants expressed
their agreement:
- I generally sleep very little or not at all the night before court.
. . . Sometimes I have hypertension, my blood pressure goes way up.
- Oh God, I get scared. [Many people responding at once to agree with
speaker.]
- Yeah that helps me, ’cause I shake like a leaf even if I know
I did everything I’m supposed to do. I still have fear running
through my veins the minute they call my name. . . .
The comments of the Las Vegas participants suggested that they learned
a great deal by sitting in court and watching the cases of others who
were appearing before the judge:
- The first time he told me to expect to sit there and be one of the
last ones to leave because by my being new he wanted me to actually
see what was going on and I saw one person put in jail and then he hollered
at a few other people for messing up and then he complimented people
for doing good, and I saw this happen. I mean it was good for me to
see the first time, but now that I’m doing good I want to be my
own person. I shouldn’t have to sit and watch all these other people,
you know, and their problems. I should just be able to go in and get
on out of there. . . .
- You see different stages. . . . You see what could happen to you.
I mean it’s like me graduating, I could look back at people—you
knew a lot of people grew. . . .
- You learn from other people. . . .
- You see them graduate and you want to be there so they quit treating
you like you’re the scum under his shoe . . . and when you see
them people get 4-week reviews that’s where you want to be because
they come in, you did good, you got my money, yep, all right, bye, have
a nice day. . . .You know you going, “Hey, that way easy, well
that’s where I want to be.” But, then again, it works both
ways, you see what you can and can’t do. . . .
- It’s like therapy. Some people be like that. That could be you.
- Then you see people goin’ to jail.
- When you see it all the time it keeps it fresh in your mind. Hey,
you know he’s going to throw your butt in jail if you don’t
do what you’re supposed to do.
- For me I think it’s a lesson to be learned, because a lot of
the questions I have in my mind are being answered right there.
Some participants thought that the experience was negative and that the
focus group members were not being honest about how they felt about going
to court:
- I don’t agree. I think that most people in there, . . . they’re
looking at that going on, thinking, “I don’t care about these
people. I don’t care if they’re going to jail.” . . .
It’s more that you don’t know what they’re going through
and you really don’t care because you just want to get on with
your thing. . . . You want to get your name called and out the door.
. . .
- I don’t care about Joe Blow you know.
Miami
Miami participants expressed mixed perspectives on the courtroom experience
in their drug court. For some, it was a source of apprehension:
- Scary for me because I don’t want to go to jail. I was there
for about 12 hours and I don’t want to go back to that place. .
. .
- Oh, I take 175 milligrams a day. . . . I suffer from anxiety and depression.
I have to take tranquilizers every day—if I go in that courtroom
I have to take two tranquilizers ’cause I get like this.
Others believed that the experience was basically helpful.
- I don’t mind because I’m clean and he just tells me, “Good
job sweetheart—I’ll see you when I see you.” And it’s
just like a 10-minute thing and then. . . .
- I like it because we’re all the same. . . . We all have the same
problem and I think the judge is aware of that. . . . He is very compassionate.
If you cross the line, you get the consequence for it. . . . On the
right path, he encourages you.
- I’m saying it’s good. When you go there and the judge say
you’re doing fine and you got another 2 whole weeks to come back
and then you graduate I see everybody get up and start clapping.
- For me it’s a trip. Everybody’s like all nervous and they’re
all worried like, “I’m gonna get arrested,” and then
there’s times like when somebody graduates and for those that are
sitting in the crowd, and we do clap, maybe we’re clapping like
oh cool, all right . . . but to see the person who’s graduating,
they’re like so hyped up, they’re so happy with themselves
and they’re so exuberant at that moment, y’know, and I just
say to myself, “Dang, I can’t wait till I’m up there”.
. . and I’m the one saying, “Yeah, I’m out of here.”
I think it’s a really good motivator.
- I enjoy watching them. I have a good time. I laugh. He makes you laugh.
Some of the things people come up with. . . .
One expressed a more impatient view, earning nods from other participants:
- Like after I finish here, I don’t want to see that place ever
again.
Portland
Although there were different opinions on the courtroom experience among
Portland focus group participants, their preoccupation with going to court
and the courtroom experience itself was a recurrent theme throughout the
focus group session. A number of the Portland participants felt anxious
and nervous about going to court:
- For myself, I felt paranoid. Even though the first time I came into
the program I had smoked marijuana, for the 2 weeks before that I had
probably 10 clean UAs [urinalyses] and had decided I wanted to do it
again with some friends and took a puff. But I knew what might happen
to me when I went to court. It was constant, constant, constant in my
mind. . . . I go in the first time I had ever screwed up. I went to
jail for 2 days and that woke me [finger snap], so that every time I
go there [to court], I feel kind of anxious.
- I’m doing good but every time I go, I’m just nervous, every
single time, I don’t know why but I just hate going there, but
I do like to sit and listen to some of the stories being told.
Another said that it was an invasion of privacy in court when the judge
discussed her personal business in front of everybody else:
- Yeah, every time, even if I’m doing good, I’m paranoid
standing in front of a whole bunch of people discussing your personal
business, like when they found out I was pregnant. Did I want everybody
to know my business?
Some participants felt that going to court was an inconvenience because
it could conflict with work schedules. One participant disagreed and argued
that, really, going to court is not much of an inconvenience when you
are doing well:
- I don’t know how much of an inconvenience it is, because I know
since I’m doing well I don’t go to court. I go to court every
6 weeks. It’s not a big deal, I mean, and if you are responsible
when you first start the program it’s 2 weeks and you do a round
then it’s 4 and now I’m going every 6 weeks.
Some noted that going to court is a learning experience. Most agreed
that positive feedback from the judge is very important to them. One participant
said that it was because he had to attend court that he was successful
in treatment:
- I’ve been arrested 29 times. I don’t like going to court,
but this is different somehow. I don’t think I would have graduated
if it hadn’t been for the court thing. . . . This is the fourth
treatment program and it’s the only one that’s done anything
and I think that’s because I had a hammer over my head constantly.
Some Portland participants complained that the evening session is overcrowded
and that going to court takes up a lot of time because there is so much
waiting:
- I did not really like it [going to court] because I had other things
to do besides run to court. I don’t have all day to sit up in court
until 5 o’clock in the evening, even though I knew I was doing
good and everything but still I have other things to do.
One participant said that it was difficult to find someone to look after
his/her child when he/she had to go to court.
San Bernardino
These themes were repeated in the San Bernardino groups:
- Sweaty palms, sweaty palms.
- When they call your name and you gotta sheet. . . . By now people
see that red spot by your name and when you’re dirty, you’re
dirty. . . . The day before when you have to go for the test, that’s
when it’s scary. That’s when it’s scary, when you go
out there and you have to be honest. As long as you’re honest.
. . .
- It feels like . . . I walk through this door and . . . paranoia. I
see some people, they think they was doing good, and bam! At the last
minute, we get the “box.”
- I think it’s scary for me because even though I know I’m
not going to jail ’cause I been doing my program, the fear is still
there. . . .
- You get weak in the knees. [Intense laughter from the group.]
- I know that I’m clean but I still have butterflies in my stomach—just
the thought of going to the courtroom, it makes me nervous.
- It’s like, y’ know, I used to break into stores or lift
stuff, and when I went out I would be worried about the alarm going
off. That’s the worst sound. Then I stopped doing crime when I
was in the program. But every time I walk by a store or in a store,
even if I’m doin’ nothin’ wrong, I’m afraid the
alarm is goin’ off. It doesn’t make sense, but I wait, my
heart starts goin’ faster, I wait for it to go off for no reason.
When I go to court, it feels like that even when I’m sure I did
what I was supposed to.
Some participants thought the experience was constructive:
- As long as your tests are clean, you don’t have to worry about
it.
- I think it gives a lot of clarity. It makes you think of the good
job you did.
- At first, I didn’t think nothin’. . . . When I see them
go to the box, it gives me more power, like, damn, I’m not like
them. . . .
- It’s a learning experience for me. You just learn what to do.
When you see somebody doin’ right and they get patted on the back,
you think, “I want to be like that next time I come.” Or when
you see someone get the cuffs slapped on them, you thinking like, “Oh,
I ain’t going to do that. I don’t want to be that person.”
Seattle
Seattle focus group participants freely expressed feelings of apprehension:
- Oh yeah! Very nervous. Sometimes I have panic attacks.
- When I got there I was scared—I was rich okay—I felt she
wasn’t going to take me. Like I wasn’t going to make it and
I needed it. . . . I been there with her in that courtroom. She had
to put me in jail because of my own stupidity.
- To me, any time I enter the courtroom, even today when there isn’t
anyone in court, this fear of the unknown. . . . You have no control
over what happens when you walk into that courthouse.
- I’m always real nervous in court because . . . she does have
a lot of power and can do just about anything she wants. And then there
is the sense of relief when you get out and it wasn’t as bad as
you thought.
Many participants expressed the view that the court experience was helpful
and positive:
- I was relieved. I like structure, see. So to have that structure
in the drug court was like . . . YES!
- If you have personal issues and they know it, they’ll wait and
call you up last because they don’t want to embarrass you or make
a big production of it with a courtroom full of people . . . That really
makes me feel good. The respect they are showing.
- Me, it’s when they call me up first I am relieved because that
means I was doing good—it’s called the Express Card. If you’re
doing good, like your urines are clean, you’re going to all your
groups . . . then you get an Express and you’re up there right
away. In and out. It’s better than waiting all day. It’s called
drug court clout.
- You take regular court. You can’t say nothing unless you are
spoken to. Here in the drug court you are given the opportunity to help
in your own case. You can talk to the judge. You’re treated like
a human being. Here, you’re making a decision for yourself. ’Cause
it’s your life, not theirs.
- But comin’ in, them turnin’ around and smilin’ and
givin’ you the thumbs up and really all of them, we’re talking
the clerks, the typist, the people from TASC, everybody is involved,
is totally into your success, and they will get you for your failures.
I mean they all care about you. I think it’s like a family thing.
- The judge begins to know when you’re lying. She knows when you’re
lying.
- It gets to where I know everyone on a first-name basis and they know
you and not only does the judge know what’s going on in your life,
she remembers. . . . It makes me feel like “on.”
As in the other sites, some participants did not appear convinced that
the courtroom experience was positive:
- You gotta sit through all the people comin’ from jail, sit there
for hours, man, seriously. . . . The longer you sit there, the worse
your punishment is goin’ to be.
- I feel like I’m on a soap box. . . . Going to court is a pain.
Back to The Courtroom Experience
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| An Honest
Chance: Perspectives on Drug Courts |
April
2002 |
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