When your child is missing, your whole world
seems to fall apart. You are bombarded by
questions from friends, neighbors, the police,
and the media and forced to make decisions
that you never thought you would have to
make. You feel desperate, confused, isolated.
You may feel that you have nowhere to go for
help or support.
Many parents who have faced similar crises
have said that they wished they had a book to
tell them where to turn when their child was
missing. They felt that they were left on their
own to figure out what to do. They longed for
someone to give them direction or to tell
them where to go for help and what needs to
be done. They also wished they had known
what to expect and how to respond.
This Guide was written by parents and family
members who have experienced the disappearance
of a child. It contains their combined
advice concerning what you can expect when
your child is missing, what you can do, and
where you can go for help. It explains the role
that various agencies and organizations play
in the search for your missing child and discusses
some of the important issues that you
and your family need to consider. The first
checklist, What You Should Do When Your
Child Is First Missing, summarizes the most
critical steps that parents should take when
their child is first missing, including whom
to call, what to do to preserve evidence, and
where to turn for help.
The rest of the Guide is divided into seven
chapters, each of which is structured to allow
you to find the information you need quickly
and easily. Each chapter explains both the
short- and long-term issues and contains a
checklist and chapter summary for later reference.
Chapter 1, The Search, focuses on the
search for your child and explains how you as
a parent can best participate in the search.
Chapter 2, Law Enforcement, describes your
relationship with law enforcement and offers
tips that will help you work together effectively.
Chapter 3, The Media, examines issues
related to the media, including media packages,
press conferences, and interviews.
Chapter 4, Photo and Flier Distribution, offers
suggestions for producing fliers about your
child and for managing the photo and flier
distribution process. Chapter 5, Volunteers,
focuses on the many uses of volunteersboth trained and untrainedto help in the search and to provide for the needs of the
family. Chapter 6, Rewards and Donations,
discusses the use of rewards and the management
of monetary donations. Chapter 7, Personal and Family Considerations, emphasizes
the need to take care of yourself, your
children, and members of your extended
family. A list of recommended readings and
a list of public and private resources appear
at the back of the Guide.
It is important to note that there is no right or
wrong way to respond to the disappearance
of a child, nor is there a right or wrong way to
feel. The path you follow must be right for
you. What makes sense for you will be based
on your needs, your experiences, and your
circumstances. Our hope is that the Guide will
help you to make informed decisions about
what you do and how you go about it.
You may find that the information in this
Guide is overwhelming right now. If so,
ask family members, friends, or other support
persons to read it for you. They can
help you take the steps needed to help
recover your missing child.
Finally, as hard as it may seem, try to remain
hopeful. Remember that hope is more than a
wish, helping you to clear this hurdle. Hope is
essential to your survival.