Connection with others is considered to be the primary motive in human behavior. Social connections or bonds between people are at risk in all encounters. If these connections are not being built, maintained, or repaired, they are being damaged. Therefore, an important source of conflict and aggression between intimates involves reactions to lapses in important social bonds. A perceived attack by one partner on the bond between partners causes rage and shame and hence conflict escalation. In testing her theory of protracted conflict, the author employs complex verbal and nonverbal coding schemes, identifies specific emotions within the context of marital quarrels, and isolates recurring patterns that precede the escalation of a quarrel. Advice is given on how to stop or avoid dysfunctional communication patterns. Various theories of conflict are reviewed that focus on conflict escalation, communication, and marital conflict. Case analyses are used to apply the theory of emotional processes and conflict escalation proposed by the author. References, figures and tables