She experienced abuse during her second marriage; her husband used any means available to control. In the course of dealing with the abuse, she found that many women do not recognize abuse or are too confused or afraid to face it. Further, many women delude themselves, thinking it cannot happen to them and that no one would believe them even if abuse occurred. The author stresses the importance of speaking out and of emphasizing the victimizer rather than the victim. She talks about the nature of disorientation due to emotional abuse, a state of mind when it becomes impossible to evaluate objectively what is going on. In addition, she presents a graphic guide to the small daily situations associated with constant changes in her husband's attitudes and personality. Her experiences demonstrate both the subtle behavior and glaring signals associated with an abusive relationship. Although the author offers many practical steps to minimize stress and emotional pain, she identifies five basic survival steps: 1) know a safe place to go in an emergency, 2) rent a post office box, 3) open an individual checking account, 4) hide extra keys outside of the house, and 5) compile records of important information.