For generations the fundamental messages to children have contained three basic premises. First, "Don't take candy from strangers." In at least two of three cases, however, the offender is not a stranger in the mind of the child. Usually, the victim and offender know each other, at least casually. Child molesters often seek legitimate access to children and then victimize them through a process similar to seduction. Children need more comprehensive information about the dangers they are far more likely to face. A second popular message is, "Don't be a tattletale." Thousands of children are hidden victims because they do not confide in anyone about their victimization. Children must be taught that if something is happening in their lives that they do not feel is right or that makes them feel uncomfortable, they must tell someone they trust. Third, children are frequently told, "You're just a kid. Be respectful to adults; they know what they're doing." Although parents do not want their children to be disrespectful to adults, they must also understand that they have the right to say no to those who would abuse their authority as adults. Children must be made aware that their safety is more important than good manners. 17 references