Family law clients and judges have similar needs from lawyer-focused efforts to reduce areas of conflict and to settle or smooth the trial of unsettled cases. A good settlement reasonably reflects risks and costs of the trial, the likely range of outcomes, and client values. A settlement occurs when clients can find reasons to respond affirmatively to each other. Lawyers need to counsel their clients away from meritless positions and should encourage civility toward judges. In addition, lawyers should be a neutral mediator and should recognize the importance of judicial discretion. When making oral arguments, lawyers should not misrepresent or confuse facts and should not persist in discovery of limited value due to fear of malpractice charges. Finally, lawyers should realize that hostility toward clients is rarely effective and is usually self-defeating.