The stories used were chosen to illustrate each of the three components of the model of domestic violence: learning, opportunity, and choice. The women’s accounts contain examples of the ways in which they learned the effectiveness of violence as a control mechanism as they saw violence being enacted in their lives. They contain examples of opportunities that presented themselves as a result of the imbalance of power in relationships, and their choices to use or not use violence, along with the consequences. Many women are not aware of the dynamics that have led to their use of violence. Included in the analysis is what is called “patriarchal violence in the home.” There is almost no literature on the topic of battering and an almost total exclusion of same-gender intimate partner violence and child abuse. The work presented here is a necessary first step in bringing together academic theories and women’s life experiences to enhance what is known regarding the ways and contexts in which women use violence. The issue of the use of violence by women is a sensitive topic that must be explored with care. It is important to understand the elements that may be at work in all types of patriarchal violence. The three-element model provides the opportunity to begin to obtain a deeper understanding of the ways in which violence is used, regardless of gender, culture, or sexual orientation. Women choose to use violence at different times and for different reasons. These ideas lend support to the importance of contextualizing individual acts of violence within frameworks that include ethnicity and sexual orientation. The resilience and survival strategies of women can provide important information for interventions and policymaking. 4 notes, 75 references