U.S. flag

An official website of the United States government, Department of Justice.

NCJRS Virtual Library

The Virtual Library houses over 235,000 criminal justice resources, including all known OJP works.
Click here to search the NCJRS Virtual Library

"Not My Kid:" 21 Steps to Raising a Non-Violent Child

NCJ Number
199782
Author(s)
Mary E. Muscari Ph.D.
Date Published
2002
Length
281 pages
Annotation
Intended for use by parents and professionals responsible for child and youth development, this book explains the steps that should be taken to prevent a child or youth from using violence as a means of addressing conflicts and managing stress.
Abstract
The instruction provided in this book is based in the belief that violence is not an inherent aspect of a child's temperament or predisposition. A child learns violence in the home and in the community. The 21 practical steps presented for preventing violent behavior are based in common sense and the author's professional experience as a certified psychiatric clinical nurse specialist (therapist). The author advises that the first step in preventing violence is the identification of the factors that place children at risk for violent behavior. There are a multitude of factors that contribute to the development of violent behavior. Individual factors include a history of early aggression, beliefs supportive of violence, social cognitive deficits, and poor emotional attachment to parents and caregivers. Family factors include poor monitoring or supervision of children, exposure to violence within the family, and parental drug/alcohol abuse. Peer/school factors include associating with peers who act violently and low commitment to school. Neighborhood factors include poverty and lack of economic opportunity, high levels of transiency and family disruption, and exposure to violence. The 21 steps for preventing violent behavior pertain to the promotion of factors that act as protective measures against the emergence of violent behavior. These factors include the development of positive self-esteem, a sense of responsibility, positive role models, problem solving ability, strong communication and social skills, good peer relationships, empathetic and loving parents, tolerance, and a sense that one is in control of one's life. This book explains the steps that can be taken to promote these factors in the daily lives and social interactions of children and youth in the family, the community, and the school. Attention is given to discipline, stress management, conflict resolution, the teaching of responsibility, the minimizing of the effects of peer pressure, and the monitoring of media use. The book concludes with chapters on the warning signs of violence, decreasing bullying behaviors, and getting help if you suspect a child of violent behaviors. 196 references and a subject index