There is a growing body of evidence that has revealed the tactics used by pedophiles to shape the realities, beliefs, and relationships of their victims with the people who have bonds with the child. The offender attempts to establish a web-like structure of traps, lies, and distortions to isolate the victim and to recreate the child as problematic in the beliefs of the mother, siblings, relatives, friends, and neighbors. Pedophiles have admitted that their primary effort is to destroy the child's relationship of trust with the mother. The most common tactic is to convince the child that the mother is emotionally abusive and uncaring in relating to the child. The intent of most of this effort to destroy the child's trust in the mother is to prevent the child from confiding in the mother about the abuse. Those who counsel sexually abused children as well as adults sexually abused as children should be aware of the impact of the abuser's tactics on the victim's perception of his/her mother. The repairing of the bond between the child and the nonabusing parent must be a primary concern of the healing process. A focus on the rebuilding of a relationship of trust between the victim and his/her mother can help the victim move beyond blaming, anger, and a sense of betrayal to a new state of understanding and accepting that the mother is a resource for support and protection. 12 references