The author speaks out of her own experiences of abuse, including a violent date rape, multiple incidents of domestic abuse, suicide attempts, and the murder of a cousin with whom she shared a special friendship. She focuses on how these and other events in her life embedded in her a sense that she was a helpless victim of persistent psychological and physical abuses over which she had little power to cope constructively. This book points the way toward escaping from this psychological state of "victimhood" and the self-destructive behaviors it promotes. She outlines five steps for this escape. First, commit yourself to removing the dominant self-consciousness of being a victim. Second, make a commitment to use the tools offered in this book for beginning and maintaining a plan of action. Third, say "no" to old negative thoughts from yourself or others that have for so long determined how you feel about yourself. Fourth, be aware of and catch yourself when you start talking negatively about yourself. Finally, surround yourself with others who want you to succeed in developing a new sense of self and will join you in the journey not only to help you but also them. 25 references and resources