The majority of the men reported that violence was rare in their intimate relationships; 44 percent reported that it had occurred only once. In most cases, the physical and emotional consequences of the violence were mild; however, a sizeable minority of the men described severe and frequent violence with their partners. Emotional abuse occurred with physical violence in all of the violent incidents. In a significant proportion of violent incidents, both partners acted violently, with each perpetrating approximately equal levels of violence. Mutual emotional abuse was especially strong. The men commonly described their violent behavior as motivated by anger and frustration, which differs from the popular belief that intimate partner violence is rooted in efforts to control a partner through physical intimidation. There were as many relationships with a nonviolent controlling partner as with a violent controlling partner. All of the men, who lived in the West-End of Vancouver, Canada, completed a 15-20 minute telephone interview that explored their experiences of abuse in intimate relationships. Of the 300 men who participated in the larger telephone survey, 195 men participated in a followup interview. For the latter interview, questions were from the History of Attachments Interview (Henderson, 1998), a semistructured interview divided into two sections of family attachment relationships and peer attachment relationships (close friendships and romantic relationships). 1 table and 29 references