Divorcing couple's emotions resemble grieving, but are distinguished in time and intensity according to whether the partner is the initiator of the divorce proceedings or the noninitiator. The latter's reactions are more in evidence at the mediation stage, and the mediator must be skilled in diffusing emotionality and changing the established communication patterns of the couple from anger and recrimination to cooperation and negotiation. Likewise, the mediator should be aware of motivations behind custody conflicts, which may well hide power contests or guilt feelings about formerly inadequate parenting. While therapist-mediators tend to err in the direction of doing therapy to too large an extent and are easily sidetracked from the primary task of achieving clear-cut agreement on specific issues, attorney-mediators are less likely to recognize emotional cues obstructing the agreement process, which may require referral to a therapist. Successful mediation facilitates a cooperative process between spouses at a critical time in their lives and is in itself a form of therapy. A chart of the steps in the emotional process of divorce is provided.