Women are frequently blamed for being victims of physical and sexual abuse, while men are often let off the hook for their acts of physical and sexual violence toward women. Therefore, psychological research should further explore the interpersonal dynamics of abused women. Clinical experiences suggest that many women fail to recognize and/or understand the controlling attitudes and behaviors of their partners that may result in abuse. A multidimensional model that considers both the abuser and the abused is needed to understand domestic violence. The use of compassionate versus control approaches in stopping male violence is examined, and moral and ethical questions associated with protecting the abused while recognizing rights of the abuser are discussed. 13 references