Communication is the most important medium for social contact and personal development. Communicating with abusive or neglectful parents presents very special problems and requires very special skills. There are few situations that generate such strong feelings of anger, hostility, and frustration in health care providers as dealing with parents who have abused their children. Five basic skills can be developed and used to facilitate the health care provider's empathic response to the emotional distress of parents--reflection, legitimation, personal support, partnership, and respect. Health care providers should view parents as patients and learn to understand their emotional responses. An important component of eliciting history from a parent is for the interviewer to furnish the parent with a cognitive understanding of why some questions are being asked. Guidelines for conducting interviews with parents are offered that pertain to open-ended and closed-ended questions, labeling, confrontation, silence, and checking to confirm or discredit the accuracy of the information received. Recommendations are also offered on how to select the interview setting and structure the interview. 18 references