This article discusses research that challenges the priority given to services for abused women. The controversy concerning the extent of violence by women is discussed. This report discusses research that shows there are approximately equal rates of dating and domestic violence by men and women. The implications of these results on policy and law is reviewed, including the concern of men that their side in child custody disputes is affected. However, it is noted that the way the questions about violence are framed, an exclusion of information concerning sexual abuse and stalking, and an exclusion of information gathered from separated couples, creates problems in taking these study results seriously. Studies without these problems show much higher rates of violence by men. However, it was found that the physical and psychological consequences of victimization were consistently more severe for women. In conclusion, it is recommended that when all the variables of violent interactions are taken into account, such as initiation, motives, and consequences, women are more victimized than men in intimate relationships. However, it is emphasized that all of these dimensions need to be included in the same study in order to more accurately inform social policy and intervention to end domestic violence. References