The signs of domestic abuse include physical violence, denial of medical treatment, forced sex, and the threat of a beating or being killed. Other forms of abuse, such as emotional, can cause low self-esteem, depression, and loneliness. Emotional abuse is just as real as the bruises and beatings of physical abuse. One of the common myths about abuse is that mostly low-income, minority women are abused. Middle- and upper-income women are also abused, but they tend to seek help from private agencies that do not report their statistics. Another myth is that alcohol and drug abuse usually cause battering. Physical abuse is a separate problem from substance abuse, and it needs to be handled as a separate problem. It is a myth that women that stay in abusive relationships enjoy it. Women that stay in abusive relationships often feel trapped or paralyzed, and are often ashamed to reveal their situation. Another myth is that women that are abused must have done something to make their partners mad and deserved the abuse. Abusive behavior is learned. Abusers are often taught during their childhood to use violence, verbal abuse, or both as a means of solving problems or dealing with stress. It is a myth that children are not harmed by domestic violence unless they are also beaten or abused. Children that witness their mothers being hit or abused are harmed emotionally, have problems in school, and are fearful, angry, or depressed. The three stages of abuse are building tension, explosion, and “kiss and make up.” These three phases of abuse often happen again and again. The five steps for “coming into the light” or escaping from abuse, are facing the truth, developing a plan, getting out, getting help from professionals, and moving on with life.