Not all violence among family members is the result of a conflict, and not all conflicts end in violence. Whether or not the inevitable conflicts of family life result in violence depends partly on whether alternative methods exist for resolving the conflict. Families may be structured in such a way that adversely affects their capabililties for resolving conflicts. Among the factors working against families using conflict resolution techniques that have a low probability of producing violence are the high emotional investment among family members, their total personality involvement, and the knowledge that members cannot leave when a conflict develops. Simple avoidance is a widely used technique to prevent an escalation into violent encounters, but it is a difficult strategy in families which are structured to generate high levels of interaction, economic interdependence, and emotional commitment. Avoidance of intimate family relationships will not resolve existing conflicts of interest, and conflicts and hostility will again accumulate. Moreover, the lack of previous practice in working out minor issues will make attempts to deal directly with current problems more difficult. Instrumental conflict is more likely to resolve conflicts, than avoidance and expressive conflict. However, any strategy used, if considered illegitimate, will only increase conflicts of interest. If, however, the strategy is successful, it will be reinforced. Charts and seven notes are included. (Author abstract modified)